Two And A Half Men: Season 1, Episode 17

1 - 17: Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats

Alan offends Charlie by choosing harebrained cousins as Jake's guardians in the event of his death. After Alan goes out, Charlie injures Jake - but manages to take good care of him by driving him to the hospital and getting him sorted. This makes Alan realize that Charlie can take good care of Jake and he chooses Charlie to be Jake's guardian when he passes instead. Title quotation from: Charlie, as he attempts to cover the fact that Jake has stitches from a basketball accident.